GUD JOKES
TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums onthe floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
BALGOBIN... is a ten year old boy
TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Bhola and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Bhola says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Bhola says coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
Why did Bhola cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what ---To avoid side effect!
Bholaji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. WHY? because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"
Bhola at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
One Bholaji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the
question paper is leaking
Bhola gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Bhola:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Man:Bholaji where were u born?
Bholaji: Bihar.
Man: which part.
Bhola: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body born in Bihar".
Bhola ke bagiche me bahut pedh the. Bhola ne naukar se bola pedho ko pani dal.
Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
Bhola : are budhu chatri pakdke dal na".
Rawbert: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headache ho raha hai.
Ajit: Abe bewakoof! Head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.
Ajit: Rawbert,is ko microprocessor may daal do! Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa saala!
Ajit: Rawbert, is ko liquid oxygen may daal do! Liquid issay jeenay nahi de gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi de gaa!
Rawbert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jyada pasand hein?
Ajit: Ek Mona, doosra Sona, aur tisra, Mona ke saath sona!
Lily: Boss, mere ko twins hoey hain.. dono ladki ke liye koi naam suggest kijiye.
Ajit: Very simple... ek ka naam rakho Kate...
Lily: Aur doosre ka?
Ajit: Dupli-Kate!
Pyarelal sent sms to Bhola: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Bhola got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
What's Ford?
Bhola: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Bhola: So simple, Bail Gaadi
Bhola: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Pyarelal: Me too, after u leave.
What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:
1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)
Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
8. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
9. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
10. National Recreation : Pro-creation
Laloo's Slogan:
Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo
Bhola was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also its beginning!
Once Bhola was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -
'Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ? '
Sir: bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,sigret nahi pioge,non veg nahi khaoge.
Bachche: nahi khaenge sir.
Sir: kabhi ladkiyon ko nahi chhedoge.
Bachche: theek hai sir.
Sir: jua nahi kheloge.
Bachche: ok sir.
Sir: desh ke liye jaan bhi de doge.
Bachche: de denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya
Ques:-.Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chadha - kyon?
Ans. Kyonki woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha..
Q. Ek Madrasi ne kaha, Main 'heart is umbrella'
movie dekh'na chaahta hoon. Vah kaun see movie dekh'na chaahta hai?
Ans. "Dil Chhata Hai!" (Chhata is Umbrella in Hindi)
Ques. Prasad ne Kumble se Pepsi laane k kaha.
Kumble Pepsi kee ek bottle leke aa gaya par seedha Sachin ke paas pahooncha.
Bataao kyon?
Ans. Tendulkar is an opener
Agar apki duniya Asma hai,
to sitare apke Dost honge,
Un sitaro me hume na dhund na kyonki
apki tamanna puri karne wale hum tutate tare honge.
Flowerful morning,
colorful noon,
joyful evening,
peaceful night,
b Happy its a Good day 4u.
zindgi kisi ki mohtaj nahi hoti,
dosti sirf jajbat nahi hoti,
kuch toh khayal aaya hoga Khudako tumhari bhalai
varna yuhi aapki
hamse Mulakat nahi hoti.
Dosti gazal hai gane ke liye,
dosti nagama hai sunane ke liye,
ye wo jazba hai sabko nahi milta,
kyonki aap jaise chahiye nibhane ke liye.
Jante hain hum zindagi mei
gam khushi se kam nahi
Tum agar meri saath ho DOST to
ye zindagi bhi kuch kam nahi
'Kyon chalti hai pawan'
because of evaporation.
'Kyon jhoome hai gagan'
because of Earth's revolution.
'Kyon machalta hai mann'
because of excessive respiration.
'naa tum jaano naa hum'
But i have given all the reasons.
'kyon aati hai bahaar'
because of change in seasons.
'kyon lutta hai karar''
because of mental tension.
'naa tum jaano naa hum'
Like i have said these are all science phenomenon.
'Kyon gum hai har disha'
because you have poor sense of direction.
'Kyon hota hai nasha'
because of drug addiction.
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
BALGOBIN... is a ten year old boy
TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Bhola and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Bhola says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Bhola says coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
Why did Bhola cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what ---To avoid side effect!
Bholaji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. WHY? because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"
Bhola at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
One Bholaji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the
question paper is leaking
Bhola gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Bhola:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
Man:Bholaji where were u born?
Bholaji: Bihar.
Man: which part.
Bhola: oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body born in Bihar".
Bhola ke bagiche me bahut pedh the. Bhola ne naukar se bola pedho ko pani dal.
Naukar bola "sahib barish ho rahi hai"
Bhola : are budhu chatri pakdke dal na".
Rawbert: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headache ho raha hai.
Ajit: Abe bewakoof! Head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.
Ajit: Rawbert,is ko microprocessor may daal do! Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa saala!
Ajit: Rawbert, is ko liquid oxygen may daal do! Liquid issay jeenay nahi de gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi de gaa!
Rawbert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jyada pasand hein?
Ajit: Ek Mona, doosra Sona, aur tisra, Mona ke saath sona!
Lily: Boss, mere ko twins hoey hain.. dono ladki ke liye koi naam suggest kijiye.
Ajit: Very simple... ek ka naam rakho Kate...
Lily: Aur doosre ka?
Ajit: Dupli-Kate!
Pyarelal sent sms to Bhola: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Bhola got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
What's Ford?
Bhola: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Bhola: So simple, Bail Gaadi
Bhola: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Pyarelal: Me too, after u leave.
What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:
1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)
Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
8. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
9. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
10. National Recreation : Pro-creation
Laloo's Slogan:
Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo
Bhola was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also its beginning!
Once Bhola was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -
'Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ? '
Sir: bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,sigret nahi pioge,non veg nahi khaoge.
Bachche: nahi khaenge sir.
Sir: kabhi ladkiyon ko nahi chhedoge.
Bachche: theek hai sir.
Sir: jua nahi kheloge.
Bachche: ok sir.
Sir: desh ke liye jaan bhi de doge.
Bachche: de denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya
Ques:-.Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chadha - kyon?
Ans. Kyonki woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha..
Q. Ek Madrasi ne kaha, Main 'heart is umbrella'
movie dekh'na chaahta hoon. Vah kaun see movie dekh'na chaahta hai?
Ans. "Dil Chhata Hai!" (Chhata is Umbrella in Hindi)
Ques. Prasad ne Kumble se Pepsi laane k kaha.
Kumble Pepsi kee ek bottle leke aa gaya par seedha Sachin ke paas pahooncha.
Bataao kyon?
Ans. Tendulkar is an opener
Agar apki duniya Asma hai,
to sitare apke Dost honge,
Un sitaro me hume na dhund na kyonki
apki tamanna puri karne wale hum tutate tare honge.
Flowerful morning,
colorful noon,
joyful evening,
peaceful night,
b Happy its a Good day 4u.
zindgi kisi ki mohtaj nahi hoti,
dosti sirf jajbat nahi hoti,
kuch toh khayal aaya hoga Khudako tumhari bhalai
varna yuhi aapki
hamse Mulakat nahi hoti.
Dosti gazal hai gane ke liye,
dosti nagama hai sunane ke liye,
ye wo jazba hai sabko nahi milta,
kyonki aap jaise chahiye nibhane ke liye.
Jante hain hum zindagi mei
gam khushi se kam nahi
Tum agar meri saath ho DOST to
ye zindagi bhi kuch kam nahi
'Kyon chalti hai pawan'
because of evaporation.
'Kyon jhoome hai gagan'
because of Earth's revolution.
'Kyon machalta hai mann'
because of excessive respiration.
'naa tum jaano naa hum'
But i have given all the reasons.
'kyon aati hai bahaar'
because of change in seasons.
'kyon lutta hai karar''
because of mental tension.
'naa tum jaano naa hum'
Like i have said these are all science phenomenon.
'Kyon gum hai har disha'
because you have poor sense of direction.
'Kyon hota hai nasha'
because of drug addiction.
posted by pravin at
1:46 AM
1 Comments:
nice blog
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